Finding Hope: Advocating for Mental Health and Suicide Awareness - Sophia Lim-Metz
The importance of sharing personal mental health struggles to reduce stigma, create understanding, and advocate for oneself and others.
Sophia Lim-Metz - Bio
Meet Sophia, a passionate and driven 18-year-old embarking on their first-year journey at Douglas College in the Child and Youth Care program. With a heart dedicated to making a difference in the lives of young individuals, Sophia has found fulfillment as a Learn to Skate Instructor at the Olympic Oval. It's not just about teaching skating skills; it's about fostering confidence and joy in the children she works with.
Known for her genuine affection for children, Sophia exudes warmth and patience in every interaction. She believes in the transformative power of empathy and connection, striving to create safe and supportive environments where every child feels valued and understood.
Driven by a desire to make a lasting impact on young people, Sophia aspires to become an Adolescent Mental Health Worker for the Richmond school district after graduating college. With a deep understanding of the challenges young people face, she is committed to providing the necessary support and guidance to help them navigate through difficult times.
In her free time, Sophia finds solace and companionship in her adorable dog named Ollie. Whether it's going to the dog park or simply cuddling on the couch, Ollie is a constant source of joy and comfort in her life.
With a genuine passion for helping others and an unwavering determination to create positive change, Sophia is poised to make a meaningful difference in the world of child and youth care and mental health advocacy.
Contact Link:
Summary:
In this episode of the Invisible Condition podcast, I sit down with Sophia Lim-Metz, an 18-year-old student courageously living with major depression, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety. Sophia opens up about her journey of self-advocacy, the challenges she has faced, and the importance of reducing the stigma around mental illness and suicide attempts. She discusses the need for open dialogue, safe spaces, and robust support services, aiming to inspire hope and demonstrate that recovery is possible. Sophia's story highlights the significance of seeking help, the power of sharing personal experiences, and the vital role of caregivers in listening, validating, and caring for themselves while supporting others.
Takeaways:
Reducing Stigma through Open Dialogue: Reducing the stigma around mental illness and suicide attempts requires honest conversations, creating safe spaces, and providing support services. Sophia emphasizes that sharing personal mental health stories helps foster understanding and empathy.
Self-Advocacy and Seeking Support: Advocating for oneself starts with the courage to ask for help. Sophia highlights that seeking support is a sign of strength and resilience, and it is essential for navigating the mental health system and maintaining well-being.
Role of Caregivers: Caregivers play a crucial role by listening, validating, and supporting those struggling with mental health issues. They must also ensure they take care of their well-being to continue providing effective support.
Hope and Recovery: Sophia's journey demonstrates that recovery is possible, and it is vital to show others that there is hope and potential for change. Despite ongoing challenges, finding effective coping mechanisms and support systems can lead to significant improvements in one's mental health.
Flexibility and Understanding: Providing flexibility and understanding in various aspects of life, such as work and education, can help reduce stigma and support individuals with invisible conditions. Sophia's experience with educational accommodations showcases how such measures can make a positive difference.
Definition, Resources and Example Accommodations:
Related Podcast Episode: How To Talk About Suicide Openly and Compassionately - Tara Adams
Major Depression:
A mental health disorder characterized by a persistently low mood, loss of interest or pleasure in most activities, and a range of physical and emotional problems. It can significantly interfere with a person's ability to perform daily activities.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD):
A mental health condition characterized by excessive, uncontrollable worry about various aspects of life. This worry is often disproportionate to the actual situation and can interfere with daily functioning.
Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia):
A mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged, embarrassed, or humiliated. This fear can lead to avoidance of social interactions and significant distress in daily life.
Definition: Suicide
Suicide is the act of, or attempting to end one’s own life.
Suicide and the language we use:
Say "died by suicide" or "took their own life" instead of "committed suicide." The term "committed" is often associated with crimes and can perpetuate stigma.
Use "person-first" language, such as "a person who died by suicide" instead of "a suicide." This emphasizes the individuality of the person, not defining them by their actions.
Avoid details about the method used, as this can be triggering for some people and is generally not relevant to a respectful discussion of the issue.
Speak of suicide as a public health issue rather than a personal failure, which helps frame the topic within a context of prevention and treatment.
Avoid romanticizing or sensationalizing suicide, which can inadvertently glamorize the act and influence vulnerable individuals negatively.
Be sensitive when discussing statistics or personal stories, ensuring the focus remains on awareness, prevention, and respect for the bereaved and those who have experienced suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Resources:
Call 988 - Suicide Crisis Help Line
Examples of Workplace/School Accommodations:
Major Depression
Flexible Scheduling: Allowing flexible work or school hours to accommodate periods of low energy or treatment appointments.
Reduced Workload: Temporarily reducing the workload or providing extended deadlines to help manage overwhelming tasks.
Quiet Workspace: Providing a quiet and private workspace to reduce distractions and stress.
Frequent Breaks: Allowing more frequent breaks to help manage fatigue and concentration difficulties.
Remote Work or Study Options: Offering the ability to work or attend classes remotely to reduce the stress of commuting and provide a comfortable environment.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Flexible Deadlines: Allowing more flexible deadlines to reduce the pressure and stress of tight schedules.
Task Management Support: Providing tools or support for managing tasks and priorities, such as to-do lists or project management software.
Relaxation Spaces: Creating designated spaces for relaxation or meditation to help manage anxiety symptoms during breaks.
Clear Communication: Ensuring clear and consistent communication about expectations and changes to reduce uncertainty and worry.
Counselling Services: Offering access to on-site or virtual counselling services for ongoing support.
Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)
Modified Participation: Allowing alternatives to public speaking or group presentations, such as written reports or one-on-one presentations.
Gradual Exposure: Gradually increasing participation in social or group activities to build confidence over time.
Supportive Environment: Creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment where individuals feel safe to express their concerns.
Buddy System: Pairing with a trusted colleague or classmate to help navigate social situations and provide support.
Remote Participation: Allowing remote participation in meetings or classes to reduce the stress of in-person interactions.
Chapters:
00:00:00 Navigating Mental Health Challenges
00:07:05 Breaking the Stigma of Mental Illness
Transcript
Sophia Lim-Metz 00:00
I would go to school, I would get amazing grades, I would be smiling, super happy all the time. But deep down inside, I was in a lot of emotional pain and I was going through a lot, yet it wasn't apparent on the outside Before we get started, this episode has a content warning.
Tim Reitsma 00:27
My and I talk openly about suicide, suicide ideation and the impact of suicide. As such, we recommend that you listen with caution. Think about this Sitting in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt and the nurse looks at you and asks if it was all for attention or did you really try to end your life? Looking okay from the outside, my was hurting so much and sought hard to get the diagnosis and answers she needed. Hey, tim here and thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Invisible Condition Podcast, where we talk about advocacy and unusually normal things the conditions, diseases and illnesses we live with.
01:05
We will end the stigma of invisible conditions by empowering voices, and today's voice is brought to us by Sophia Lim-Metz, diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety and social anxiety in her grade, 10 year after hospitalization following a suicide attempt. Sophia's story is one of resilience, advocacy and hope. We talk candidly about her struggles with chronic suicide ideation, the pressures of being an elite athlete and the identity crisis she faced when stepping away from her passion for hockey. In this episode, we talk about the importance of reducing stigma through open dialogue, the courage it takes to ask for help and the role of caregivers in supporting those with mental health challenges. Sophia's journey shows us that the power of sharing our stories will create understanding and empathy. Have a listen, sophia. I am incredibly grateful that you have joined us today on the Invisible Condition podcast. We got connected through a mutual connection and here in the place that we live. We're not quite neighbors, but we're close and I'm just grateful that you've decided to come on and share a little bit about yourself. So welcome to the show.
Sophia Lim-Metz 02:20
Yeah, thank you so much, Tim.
Tim Reitsma 02:33
I'm so grateful to be here to share a little bit about myself, as well as my story. More than inspiration, I'm trying to figure out. What is that bigger word than inspiration? I just felt so hopeful after we left that call. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and then we'll get into the invisible condition that you live with? But tell us a little bit about yourself.
Sophia Lim-Metz 02:59
Yeah, so, like you said, my name is Sophia Lemetz. I am 18 and currently enrolled in the child and youth care program at Douglas College, and am working as a learn to skate instructor for kids.
Tim Reitsma 03:16
I love that. So 18 years old and you're studying at Douglas College. For those who are not familiar with Douglas College, it's here in Vancouver, bc, or around Vancouver BC. Here in Canada, you live with an invisible condition. We're going to get into a little bit of the story around your invisible condition, but why don't you tell us a little bit about what you live with and that diagnosis journey and how it has changed or affected you?
Sophia Lim-Metz 03:47
So the invisible conditions I live with are major depression, generalized anxiety and social anxiety. These labels came into focus during my grade 10 year, following a hospitalization, because I had attempted to take my own life. Initially, the diagnosis struck me with confusion and shock. I had to come to terms that not everyone navigates the world through the same haze of despair and fear, so to say. I soon realized I had to mourn the loss of what I perceived as a normal life. My life seemed to have taken an unforeseen turn, presenting challenges that I had never anticipated, challenges such as trying to navigate the mental health system as a young person and trying to find the right mix of meds that work for me and a therapist whom I could connect with.
05:04
Living with these conditions transformed my daily existence. Despite appearing like I'm fine, I had a persistent sense of hopelessness and emptiness that lay beneath the surface. I live with chronic and severe suicidal ideation and, I'm not afraid to say it, it's like a war in all the time. I tend to worry about worrying, but before these struggles consumed my life, I had my entire life planned out. I had dreams of playing Division I hockey at Yale and pursuing a career in dermatology. But you know, things change, life changes and amidst the darkness, however, I've been so incredibly blessed to have crossed paths with extraordinary individuals. With extraordinary individuals, psychiatrists, support workers, nurses and teachers have become beacons of light in my journey, and in their inspiring company I truly unearth my passion and purpose in life, and that is to advocate and help those struggling with their mental health.
Tim Reitsma 06:46
Thank you so much for trusting us with your story, sophia. It is an impactful story. It is a story full of change and emotion and yet hope. I feel that hope as you get wrapped up your journey. You said something, that a few things that really stood out to me. One was appearing as fine. What did that look like for you?
Sophia Lim-Metz 07:17
You know what? I would go to school? I would get amazing grades, I would be smiling super happy all the time. But deep down inside, I was in a lot of emotional pain and I was going through a lot, yet it wasn't apparent on the outside.
Tim Reitsma 07:42
So many of our invisible conditions. Well, they're just that, they're not apparent. We could seem perfectly quote-unquote fine, or the word that I don't necessarily like normal, but there's so much going on beyond what our eyes can see. And here you are, and here you are. You were envisioning your life playing Division I hockey, going to university, and your life has shifted. But you also said something that stood out, which was you're not afraid to share your story. You're not afraid to share your struggles with mental health.
Sophia Lim-Metz 08:25
What gives you that confidence and that courage to share. I really want to share my story and have my story out there for a couple of reasons, I think, the first reason mainly being is I want to reduce the stigma around those who live with mental illness and attempt suicide. I feel as though sharing my story can really humanize the experience. I want to challenge the misconceptions. I want to challenge the stereotypes to further foster greater understanding and empathy. We need more people to talk about it. People must understand that mental illness or being an at-risk youth doesn't have a single appearance. You don't necessarily have to look a certain way or dress a certain way to struggle. I feel like a lot of people tend to say mental health matters until someone has poor hygiene or a manic episode in public. Really important to recognize that suicide attempts aren't acts of selfishness but rather desperate cries for help from individuals overwhelmed by their internal struggles and who are in a lot of pain.
Tim Reitsma 09:58
Thank you, you know, what you're saying just hits me and resonates with me on a few different levels, as someone who has struggled with suicidal ideations in the past and what you're saying is it's powerful, right? How do we normalize these invisible conditions? It's by talking about it. How do we normalize these invisible conditions? It's by talking about it.
10:28
And here you are, just being honestly a light to me right now, just how you're speaking and how articulate you are with your words and you're not afraid to share Because you're right, there's so much stigma when it comes down to that suicide attempt and I've heard that before where it's well, it's just a cry out for help or it's a cry for attention and it's not. It's not a cry for attention, it's a hey, I need help, I'm broken and I need some help, yeah.
11:09
So I thank you again for sharing and you know when, when we connected, you shared that, telling your story is therapeutic to you and I've heard this before getting those words out of our minds, maybe out of a piece of paper and out into the world. There's something to be said about that and I agree with you. And so if someone is struggling to share their story right now and they just want to tell their story, they feel a need to tell their story. What would you tell them?
Sophia Lim-Metz 11:41
I would tell them to especially take their time and that there is no rush or pressure to share their story if they are truly not ready. They should also take as much time as they need to feel prepared and, most of all, comfortable. I would also say that they are never alone in this journey. Many people do find it difficult to share their story, especially their mental health story, and it's okay to feel unsure or to feel nervous. I even remember preparing to present my story at a high school, despite my fears of judgment from students, knowing that my story could potentially even just help. One person in the room gave me peace. I would also say to reassure them that they have control over how much or how little they choose to share, empower them to set boundaries and to only disclose what feels comfortable for them. I would also validate, validate, validate. Validate their feelings, their emotions, their thoughts, by acknowledging that it's okay to feel apprehensive about opening up and personally, I really do admire anyone who considers sharing their story.
Tim Reitsma 13:15
I do as well. We share that admiration and again, I've heard this so often where someone decides, hey, I want to tell my story If from podcast s who have reached back out to me and say, hey, somebody, a complete stranger, has listened to our episode and I just wanted to pass along that gratitude of being able to share a story For me ending. The stigma is twofold One is telling our stories, another one is educating educating others. And so I'm curious. You said you were invited into a high school to share your story. How was that?
Sophia Lim-Metz 14:21
How was that experience for you? I did it on behalf of Pathways Clubhouse, which is a non-profit organization for those recovering from mental illness. I would say it was quite scary because I even knew some of the students there. It was at the alternate program I was in in high school called Combined Studies program. I was in in high school called Combined Studies. So kind of knowing the vibe and knowing the students there were, it like helped me a little bit. But it was also a little bit more nerve wracking too. But I had a great experience and it was so great to get my story out there and to you know at-risk students who may be struggling as well.
Tim Reitsma 15:00
When we have that opportunity to share, there's a lot of emotions that go on. There's that fear, that anxiety that you know anxiousness to share. I mean we were talking about this even before we hit the record button. You know I still get nervous for every podcast episode that I've recorded. But being able to connect with people in person just to share your story, I imagine that it had a positive impact on so many. So it's good on you for overcoming that fear and getting your story out there.
Sophia Lim-Metz 15:37
Yeah, thank you.
Tim Reitsma 15:39
I'm curious. So again, when we connected, you talked about, you saw a need to take care of yourself. What did this look like, maybe before hospitalization, and what does it look like now?
Sophia Lim-Metz 15:56
I think throughout my mental health journey I have been so receptive to help and would do a lot to take care of myself. I have been in therapy since I was eight and I'm still in therapy now. I will say therapy over and over again because it really is helpful. It was until I started to outwardly struggle in grade 10 where I needed more intensive professional help. After my suicide attempt I was referred to TRAC, which is a team response to adolescent and children in crisis, and then to Vancouver Coastal Health Mental Health Program and then to the Step Up, step Down program as well. But you know, due to my severe suicidal ideation and self-harming tendencies, I started DBT therapy, which is an evidence-based treatment to learn strategies to cope with intense emotions and challenging situations. It has helped me so much and has created a toolbox of skills for me to use in my everyday life or when I'm in crisis.
17:23
I think another thing that I really do to take care of myself is that I always make sure to stay connected. I am so grateful to have such a supportive family and circle of friends. I make sure to spend time with them, as social connections bring a much comfort and understanding. I'm still connected to the alternate program combined studies that I was in and am also a a member, like I said, at Pathways Clubhouse and have been attending their youth socials each month. Also, exercise, exercise has done wonders for me. I would hear this from everyone, non-stop, constantly, from my mom, my psychiatrist, everyone. But when you are struggling, tired and unmotivated, it's quite hard to get going. But when I started, one of my support workers came with me. I couldn't stop because it just helped my mood and sleep so much. I also had the amazing opportunity as well to work with YES, youth Empowerment and Strength, run by Pilar for at-risk youth, for me to get back into the swing of things following a recent hospitalization in January.
Tim Reitsma 18:51
And for those who are listening, I'll link all these resources out in the show notes. You know you've taken your health journey into your own hands. That's what it sounds like, and it didn't sound like it was always the case, but you have taken it into your own hands and you know that there's things that work for you. I'm wondering what is your favorite form of exercise?
Sophia Lim-Metz 19:20
Well, I work out at True Conditioning. So it's with the TRX straps.
Tim Reitsma 19:25
Okay. So I am one who always tells myself I need to exercise more, but I don't. And I know the place that you go to it's not far from my place and I keep finding resources in the list of here's some easy exercises. But I know it impacts my mental state if I have a few days of just not moving a lot and some days when I'm sitting at my desk I don't get up. I get up to eat a little bit and then it's just sitting here. So I feel by the end of the week I'm exhausted. So there you go, Exercise. I get up to eat a little bit and then it's just sitting here. So I feel by the end of the week I'm exhausted. So there you go, Exercise.
20:02
I love that, and I think there's a theme that has emerged even through our conversations, which is a theme of invisible condition, which is self-advocacy. In grade 10, when you were hospitalized to where you are now, I can imagine there's a significant amount of advocacy you had to do for yourself. What are the steps of advocacy? What does that look like to you?
Sophia Lim-Metz 20:32
You know what, tim? I truly think that advocating for myself is what started this whole journey. During my time as an elite athlete, I encountered a significant amount of pressure and stress. It was the pressure of striving to be the best and consistently performing at a high level that weighed heavily on me. My focus was singular, and you know that was securing a scholarship and playing Division I hockey in the States.
21:12
The feeling of being overwhelmed completely consumed me so much that that was the reason I attempted suicide for the first time. It was like a wake-up call for me that I no longer loved the sport and couldn't handle it anymore, because I thought the only way out was to die was to die. Recognizing that necessity for change, I was able to advocate for myself by saying hey look, you know this isn't really for me anymore. So I made the courageous decision to step away, prioritizing my mental health and self-care journey. I also want to add that you know, being a competitive athlete and abruptly needing to stop can create an identity crisis. For me, hockey was my whole life, and who was I without it? How would I define myself outside of the sport?
Tim Reitsma
22:18
yeah, I can imagine like, as you said, your identity was wrapped around your, your athletics, your hockey, and when you decided to say, hey, this isn't where I want to see my life going, how did did others react to that?
Sophia Lim-Metz 22:38
I would say my family was heartbroken for sure, because they have invested a lot of time and money in this. My teammates were so surprised because you don't usually just get up and leave during the middle of tryouts and my coaches also had no clue that I was in so much pain that I was hospitalized and dealing with all these emotions. So everyone was very surprised and, I would say, a little bit upset as well.
Tim Reitsma 23:18
And after they found out that you were hospitalized, that you were carrying more weight that you could handle or communicate, how was that received from your friends, your family, your coaches, who aren't your coaches anymore?
Sophia Lim-Metz 23:35
who aren't your coaches anymore. They felt really quite sorry for me that I attempted to take my own life because of the pressure and stress that they were putting on me and the pressure and stress I was putting on myself. I'm pretty sure they would never guess that I was going through all of this and I would say that they probably felt, you know, bad that they put all this, you know, stress on me. But I think, you know, during that attempt I was able to call for help. You know I had my sister call 911 and you know the police and the ambulance came and so they were proud that even then I was able to have a moment of realization and ask for help.
Tim Reitsma 24:33
It's coming to that point of, hey, I need help and and support. And you know, if somebody is listening to this and it's really struggling, uh, you know, I, I hear you and and I see you. Um, if you're really struggling, there's a resource, uh, which I learned about.
24:53
It's called nine eight, eight, which is um which is, uh, is a suicide awareness hotline, and so if you are struggling, I just want to throw that out there. That's a great resource for you. You'd used a word at the very beginning about the word normal, and your life has changed significantly over the last few years. Life has changed significantly over the last few years, and so you know, as you look at your life now and the direction, where do you see your future going, where do you hope to use your experience and into your work and your career or your schooling?
Sophia Lim-Metz 25:34
You know, I really want to show others that there is hope. I still remember in my darkest moments that I thought things were never going to change or get better. I have this vivid memory of me sitting on the dike crying to my mom, begging her, you know, just to let me die. At that point I just wanted to disappear. I feel as though when you start to suffer from a mental illness or have mental health challenges when you were young or in your teenage years, it feels like forever. If I'm being completely honest with you, I never would have thought I would make it to 18, but here I am.
26:22
I want to show people that recovery is possible. There is also a potential for change, a potential for growth and healing. And I'm not saying that everything is perfect now and I won't sugarcoat reality, because I still have times where I'm in crisis and times where I have bad days. But it's almost because I've struggled so much. I've had the opportunity to meet amazing people and hopefully in the future I want to be an adolescent mental health worker for the Richmond School District and also return back to my alternate program in high school and be the youth worker there Outlook right when you know your life is very different.
Tim Reitsma 27:18
I can relate a little bit just how where I'm at now is not where I expected it to be and it's been a struggle like mentally not just physically, but mentally, and but looking at it from that perspective of okay, this is, this is what I live with, what can I do with this, how can I help, how can I support Because many of us struggle with something, and whether it's a your life now and what you live with in a way of, how can you help, how can you benefit society, how can you give back? And you know, we we kind of touched on this a little bit and these are a couple questions that I always ask everybody. Speaking of stigma and I know we've talked about the stigma, well, maybe before I get asked a question, I'm curious if any, what stigma have you faced with your mental health challenges?
Sophia Lim-Metz 28:27
So I would say that throughout my mental health journey I've been pretty lucky in a way that I haven't faced much stigma. But the only stigma that I truly faced was when I was in hospital because I had attempted to take my own life again. The nurse abruptly opened the curtain door and said to me did you try to kill yourself or was this all for attention? That completely hit me. It hurt my feelings so much and I didn't want to reach out for help again. It is so incredibly disheartening that a person in the healthcare system and a person with power had made me feel so invalid and, like I, use this attempt as a cry for attention or attention seeking behavior.
Tim Reitsma 29:35
I am so sorry that you endured that From someone, as you said, a power, a nurse, a healthcare practitioner, and I'm so sorry that you heard that. I can just imagine what was going through your mind already and now having this placed on you.
29:58
And I'm just so grateful. I've said grateful, I don't know how many times that was with you, but I'm just grateful that you're here, that you're here to tell your story. Um, and one thing that I've learned about suicide is that many people live with suicidal thoughts every day. It doesn't go away. It's how we live with those thoughts and the therapy or the medications and the support that we have or people have around them. So it's not a cry for attention, it's just something that many people live with. For attention.
Sophia Lim-Metz 30:39
It's just something that many people live with.
Tim Reitsma 30:41
So, knowing that there's stigma, I mean for your mental health conditions as well as others how are we going to end the stigma? I mean it's everywhere, right, it's in our schools, it's even in our hospitals, the healthcare practitioners taking care of us. How are we going to do this? How are we going to end it?
Sophia Lim-Metz 30:58
the healthcare practitioners taking care of us. How are we going to do this? How are we going to end it? Well, I think ending the stigma of invisible conditions requires a multifaceted approach. Encourage open dialogue. Create safe spaces for individuals to talk openly about their experiences and their conditions, without fear of judgment or discrimination. Encourage honest conversations to foster understanding and support.
31:29
I would also say, to promote a lot of flexibility. Encourage flexibility and understanding in various aspects of life, whether that be work schedules, educational accommodations and even social interactions. I've been so lucky, actually, that in college I have an accessibility specialist who helps me get accommodations for more times on tests, or even a note taker. And, lastly, provide support services. Ensure that adequate support services, such as, you know, counseling, support groups and resources are available to individuals living with these conditions, as well as their families too. I think that here in Richmond we are very lucky because we have places like Foundry, vch programs and even Richmond Addiction Services to support people, but of course, you know there's always room for improvement. There are still super long wait lists to get into programs. The system, in my opinion and experience, is still kind of understaffed and underfunded.
Tim Reitsma 32:53
And not just here in Richmond, British Columbia. I've heard this from people across North America. Getting into services is such a challenge. But for those who are listening, you've got Sophia's like what? Five-point plan. Here you go, Write it down. It'll be in the show notes. So we're going to share this out, because it starts with that encouraging open dialogue, and we can't necessarily encourage an open dialogue without creating a safe space.
Sophia Lim-Metz 33:25
And self-advocacy.
Tim Reitsma 33:26
I've been thinking a lot about this. It's complex and it's challenging, overcoming that fear to share, just like you have today. You've overcome a lot just to be here on this podcast and share openly with complete strangers who are going to listen to this episode. But it starts with creating those safe spaces, whether it's in our school systems, in our workplaces, even within our families. We talk about it from a workplace and school perspective, but even with our families, creating that safe space of hey, I need to tell you something and I just want you to listen, right, you don't want solutions, I just want you to hear me. So I love that. And to speak on that flexibility piece, I'm really curious. So you've got that college accessibility support and I'm curious how was that process for you to actually get the support? Was it pretty easy, straightforward? Was it challenging?
Sophia Lim-Metz 34:25
I would say I just looked on the website. I was able to read out like kind of the steps involved, and then I booked a appointment with an accessibility specialist and I just needed a list of documents proving that I have a disability or a mental health issue. And then they were like pretty open to it and was like, hey, you know, we have all these accommodations right here for you. And I was like perfect, that's amazing.
Tim Reitsma 34:58
It sounds so straightforward and so simple, and it kind of is, isn't it? It's in your case, looking online, finding that those accommodations, and you know I'm did you have to overcome anything? Or was there something to overcome about even like, hey, I now I have to disclose, or I'm choosing to disclose to this college that I live with something, or was it pretty straightforward for you?
Sophia Lim-Metz 35:23
I think, a little bit of mixed emotions. I was, you know what. I didn't want to be viewed differently now that I've disclosed that I'm living with something, and so I remember I was having to talk to this person that was part of the accessibility team and I actually had to disclose to them that I attempted suicide because they needed hospital records to prove that I wasn't able to go to school, and so I think that was a little bit tough. Other than that, I would say, usually I feel pretty good about like telling people that I'm living with these things, but other than that, of course it can be coupled with anxieties and a lot of worries as well.
Tim Reitsma 36:15
And that's a perfect lead in, I think, to kind of where we're going to wrap up our conversation. And that's really around what is one thing someone can do to advocate for themselves Someone who you know, we talked about, somebody who wants to share their story, but maybe somebody who is maybe struggling to advocate for themselves, whether it's at school, in high school, university or maybe even in the workplace. What would you like to share with someone?
Sophia Lim-Metz 36:42
It's just three words, and that is I need help. Three words that take much bravery. I'm not saying that it's easy to do. No, not at all. It's so hard.
37:01
But seeking support is a sign of strength, resilience and courage, and never a sign of weakness. It's okay to feel vulnerable. Asking for help can be daunting, it can be extremely scary, but you deserve to feel supported and to have access to resources that can help you navigate challenges when it comes to mental health. Taking small steps, such as confiding in a trusted person, whether this be a close friend, school counselor or family member describe to them how you feel, your thoughts and even how your body feels. I feel like this is also key to point out.
37:44
But there are some people who just don't want the help, and at one point in my life I was in that position. I said I'm done. I said no more help to my mom, and you know, as a parent, that just breaks your heart and it even frustrates you. But there are still ways to help even then. You know listening and validating what they're saying, asking different questions and resisting the urge to fix them or give advice. And for those helping, never forget to take care of yourself and find your own support as well.
Tim Reitsma 38:27
I couldn't have said it any better, sophia Resisting the urge to fix someone or fix something, and making sure you're taking care of yourself. As caregivers, it's so, so important to take care of ourselves, because most of us, when we walk alongside someone, we carry that weight with them. Sophia, I am just so honored that you chose to share your story on the Invisible Condition podcast today and, again, for those who are listening, we'll put all the resources that Sophia shared in the show notes. So please head to the website invisibleconditioncom. And, yeah, please, you know, if you are struggling, if you're struggling today or know someone, please make sure and ensure that you aren't walking this journey alone, that we're here for you. Sophia, thanks for coming on today.
Sophia Lim-Metz 39:23
Thank you so much, Tim.
Tim Reitsma 39:25
All right, and again for those who are listening, if this show resonates with you, if this episode resonates with you, could you do me a favor? Maybe leave a rating wherever you listen to your podcast, maybe share it out with friends and family who might need to hear Sophia's story today, and, if you have the financial means, maybe consider donating to invisibleconditioncom. We're building this as a social impact organization, and all the money that's being raised goes directly back into the production of episodes just like this. So I hope everyone has a good one and we'll talk to you soon.
