Ep: 005 - Trust in Your Faith, When You Can’t Trust Your Bowels
Jodi Ekk - Bio
Jodi is a survivor of over 20 years of working in the field of dentistry, but she doesn't currently care if you floss or not. She now serves on staff as a biblical counsellor at Christ City Church in Vancouver.
Although she has had a few health challenges thrown her way, she remains hopeful that there are many sunny days ahead. She is constantly reminded that the goal of this life is not to chase after the elusive goal of perfect health, but to steward and enjoy whatever God has given us each day.
Jodi enjoys spending time with her husband, teenage kids, and dogs (hers or anyone's). She is an avid learner and loves to teach.
Resources:
WebMd - The difference between Crohn’s and Colitis
Episode Highlights
I think we get very focused on what's happening at this moment. And it sounds very trite to say it will get better because to be honest, sometimes it won't in this lifetime. Um, we believe that there's eternal hope, eternal restoration. This body is not forever. If it was.
I would feel pretty ripped off sometimes. I mean, you can always look at other people and say, well, I have it better than them, but that's not really helpful. And so I think for me, I mean, I would be amiss to not say my hope is in Jesus Christ and the gospel that I see in scripture and how I see that lived out around me in the community.
So yeah, I would say there's hope beyond what we see right here in front of us. And we need to lift our eyes up and, and look to that hope. Um, otherwise, yeah, it just gets very, uh, overwhelming, I would say.
And when you have a bowel condition, you don't get to decide, I'm going to hold it for a while. I think that's maybe a lot of people don't understand that. Like it's not the runs. It's, it's loss of control often, or like knowing once that's happened you just never know when it's going to happen again. So this kind of like sense of not trusting your body and not feeling in control. So I did have to, I had to quit one of my jobs because I just couldn't get through a shift and I wasn't really comfortable with talking to them about some sort of accommodation.
Yeah, I had a career and but I had to listen to my body. I had to listen to my heart and what I believe God was leading me to do. And so I pivoted. It was a big change, huge change to go. And, you know, part of it was my flexibility with work, obviously, as well. You know, working. I work with people, but their heads are not in my lap. And if I need to take a quick break, I take a quick break, you know, things like that.
I think I've grown spiritually in two main areas with this. One is worrying less about what people think and focusing more on what God thinks about me, which is actually very reassuring. The other is really having to let go of this sense of control, which a lot of people struggle with. And I thought I had already worked through that. I thought I'd had enough challenges in my life already, but this was a completely new frontier with that just loss of control. I mean, I've mentioned loss of control of body function. That wasn't, you know, every single day, but knowing that was a potential really makes you go into situations differently and learning to trust God with that. Even if the worst happens, you know, I'm still loved. I'm still a value in God's eyes. I'm still, you know, I'm still here.
Transcript
Tim Reitsma:
Jodi, it's good to have you on the podcast. Well, so this is kind of our second take at this, isn't it? I think we recorded one, we heard yourself and all the neighbors and all the traffic in the background and so here we are again.
Jodi Ekk:
Thank you, Tim.
Jodi Ekk:
Airplanes about every two to three minutes, I think, is the usual. Here.
Tim Reitsma:
I think so. So we're set up. We're going to have a fun recording. And, you know, for those who are listening, Jody and I, we go way back. We've known each other for a number of years. We go to the same church. The church has been celebrating 10 year anniversary. So I guess that's when we first met. It's crazy. And over the last couple of years, we've really kind of bonded over something. I think it's a word. It's a word.
Jodi Ekk:
Yes we have!
Tim Reitsma:
That starts with a P. Do you want to share with our guests what this is?
Jodi Ekk:
POOP!
Tim Reitsma:
That's right.
Jodi Ekk:
We said it, it's out there.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah, we're just going to say it right off the bat in this episode. We're talking a lot about digestive stuff. You know, I live with Crohn's, Joey lives with colitis, and we're going to get into that. And so I remember getting a text from you and saying, Hey, I need some advice. Do you remember? I think it was, do you remember what it was? Why don't you share? Why don't you share with us?
Jodi Ekk:
Mm hmm. Yes, I. Oh, I was having some very abnormal bowel issues and I didn't. You can't just talk to anybody about that. And I knew that you had struggled because you had been open about that with Crohn's and a little bit of what that meant in your everyday life. And you were going through a flare already at that time. Your super long flare.
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jodi Ekk:
And I said, I think something is not normal, but I need to talk to someone about it. So you called me and we had like a 45 minute conversation about poop.
Tim Reitsma:
about poop and then yeah, we talked about that and we talked about just kind of everything that goes on, at least from my experience with Crohn's and recommended some doctors. And then we also talked a lot about colonoscopies. And I was thinking the other day about how many colonoscopies I've gone for. And I think it's, and I'm not even exaggerating, it's gotta be over 40. And so I don't know if that makes...
Jodi Ekk:
you're an expert. Wow, you should have a badge. Expert level.
Tim Reitsma:
I should have a badge. Yeah. I think you should have like a 25 plus colonoscopy badge. And, and so, you know, but I also remember you reaching out and was like, Hey, I need some advice because I'm going for this. And it's scary. And now I mean, it's you're a veteran, I think maybe not 25. But you know, you're used to it now.
Jodi Ekk:
I definitely now I've walked other people through it a little bit. So yeah, you feel like, okay, I've survived that I can do other things. I actually, yeah, upper endoscopies are my least favorite. So yeah.
Tim Reitsma:
Hmm. I can say I haven't had one of those. It's always been the other end. And so I know we're just like kind of jumping in and people are going to be listening to this going like, what are we getting ourselves into? And we're going to talk about invisible conditions because colitis ends. Um, I know you're celiac and with Crohn's and arthritis, often they manifest as an invisible condition. Before we get there for listeners, maybe they're going for colonoscopy, they've had a colonoscopy. What is your pro tip, your colonoscopy pro tip?
Jodi Ekk:
What are we talking about?
Jodi Ekk:
Uh, yeah, I've got a good one.
So towards the end, if I remember correctly, you're just, you're having clear fluids and you are on the toilet almost constantly. And you're sick of the prep, which is a massive, I don't know, 50 gallon. What is it? Four liters? Is it one gallon? I can't remember. Um, amount of fluid. Do you, it's a laxative that you have to drink. Anyway, you're sick of it. You feel like you're going to vomit. Anyway, I had the idea.
Tim Reitsma:
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Jodi Ekk:
to heat up a cup of apple juice, because you're starving also, and have it like a warm drink. And I just remember it being the best thing that I had tasted in at least 24 hours was a warm cup of apple juice. So that's my pro tip, because you get cold too. Yeah.
Tim Reitsma:
So yeah, my last, yeah, like my, yeah, cold, like my last scope was not that long ago, it was just before surgery. And my pro tip is just chill everything as cold as you can and make sure you drink through a straw and get it all cold. But by the time you're halfway done, I'm just freezing on my body temperature just drops and I'm shivering. So, you know, if you're doing that, it's the cool everything down, you have to, it's a must.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah. Yes.
Tim Reitsma:
but make sure you got a couple of sweaters. It could be 30 degrees outside Celsius because we're here in Canada, but you gotta bundle up. Otherwise you're just gonna shiver uncontrollably. So good pro tip.
Jodi Ekk:
Yes, you gave me the tip of having the prep, the laxative liquid in the fridge, which was good. Somehow that makes it more palatable.
Tim Reitsma:
Yes. Yeah. It's so palatable. It's so not good. As we're now reminiscing and probably thinking of that last time, but you know, again, we bonded over that four letter word of poop. Um, we bonded over colonoscopy prep. Uh, you've supported people. I've supported people going through diagnosis and through process and, but I want to talk about your journey, like living with an invisible condition.
Jodi Ekk:
Hehehehehe
Jodi Ekk:
Yep.
Tim Reitsma:
Invisible condition is just that it's something that is not visible. You are teaching at the time you're a dental hygienist. You're working. You're have two very active kids. You're married and, um, things started to change. And how did that going through that diagnosis process? And what was going through your mind?
Jodi Ekk:
for celiac or for colitis or for both or any. Sure.
Tim Reitsma:
Let's start with colitis and then we'll talk about how celiac has also affected you.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah. So for colitis was, I remember, um, just having symptoms. I mean, I can list them. Um, but I don't, you can also Google them. So just having a lot of, uh, yeah, just a lot of difficulty with bowel movements and to the point where you can't really control it, which is probably the most, uh, my GI doctor said it's, it's traumatic to go through that. And it is like you've been there too. Um,
Tim Reitsma:
Ha ha.
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
So I, this happened over it, so this is two years ago, almost exactly, um, where things just weren't kind of leveling off. You know, at first you think, maybe I'm sick, maybe it's something bad. Um, at first my doctors thought that I was no longer in remission. They call it with celiac, like it wasn't under control. So I had to go through this whole, um, this, I had to,
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
replace all of my personal care items with things that were certified gluten free, like my shampoo, my face wash, lotion, anything, because when you have celiac disease, all of those things, although they don't absorb into your skin, they can add up to exposure when it's on your hands and it's on your pillowcase and it gets in your mouth.
I had to go through my whole kitchen, reread all the labels of things I had been buying, make sure I wasn't getting exposed unknowingly because that has happened before. So once that was established...
that it wasn't to do with my celiac, then, you know, they thought, well, maybe it is just, I don't know, things take a while here sometimes with our system. Right. So there was a lot of kind of with my medical doctor and my GI doctor, like, maybe things will settle down. Who knows? And finally, I said, this is I called and I was crying and I said, I can't live like this. Like, this is not I can't do my job. I can't eat. Like I was
Jodi Ekk:
time in the dental office and I remember not eating all day so that I wouldn't have to go to the washroom. And you can't sustain that for very long. I'm not a big person and I don't have a lot of reserves. And so eventually I got to see my GI doctor in person. I got booked for a colonoscopy, but that was five months.
So it was five months of being completely depleted. Like my body was not absorbing nutrients. I dropped tons of weight, felt ill all the time. And yeah, and then had a scope and they said, oh, you have, it's called lymphocytic colitis, which is relatively rare. It's not ulcerative, which means I don't have bleeding.
but it's horrible to live with, it's inflammation, and people who have celiac disease are more predisposed to it. So yes, got that, and then start treatment.
Tim Reitsma:
Wow.
Tim Reitsma:
It's so five months from first manifestation of something's not right. And I'm sure.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah, and if I look back, it was definitely before that too. I was like, things are, you know, it's not normal to have Pepto-Bismol in your purse at all times, you know, so that was a few months before that already. And yeah, so it took a while.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah.
Tim Reitsma:
And so you were living with, uh, living with your celiac as well. So living with that and then colitis showed up and, uh, all the while, again, it's invisible. And so how was that journey of explaining to people, your, your husband, your, your kids, your workplace. Um, and how did you get past that? Was there fear involved in that? And how did you.
How did you, were you able to explain that to people?
Jodi Ekk:
I've dealt with a lot of tummy issues, you know, with the whole celiac thing, which started 10 years ago. I had like a persistent stomach infection before that. I did have a bowel infection before that, but so I'd have a lot of, I've had a lot of GI issues. So my whole family and friends circle is used to that.
Tim Reitsma:
Hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
But to really recognize that something was very wrong, it is hard to do, especially when your medical team is also not sure. And so you're not really, I found I wasn't taking sick days because I just didn't think anything was really, like I knew something was wrong, but until you know what it is, you just think I should just continue along. I don't know why our brains do that. And the hardest thing was managing work. So I was working at multiple dental practices at the time, one of which I was very comfortable with, um didn't necessarily want to disclose what was going on because I didn't know what was going on but this was during COVID and um for dental practice we had to gown up um it was like almost like going into surgery like we had to gown up we had a face shield we had everything on all our PPE and 95 and so to go to the washroom was very difficult mid procedure and when you have a bowel condition, you don't get to decide, I'm going to hold it for a while. I think that's maybe a lot of people don't understand that. Like it's not the runs. It's, it's loss of control often, or like knowing once that's happened.
You just never know when it's going to happen again. So this kind of like sense of not trusting your body and not feeling in control. So I did have to, I had to quit one of my jobs because I just couldn't get through a shift and I wasn't really comfortable with talking to them about some sort of accommodation. And then the office where I was more comfortable with the dentist and I had been there a long time, I did finally tell her, this is why I keep leaving my patient because it's not, I don't know,
If you think about last time you were seeing your dental hygienist for a checkup and cleaning, they probably did not leave mid procedure for 15 minutes. And sometimes dentists do that, but not hygienists. So I explained that to her. She's very supportive. But yeah, not the most fun thing I've had to do for sure.
Tim Reitsma:
Absolutely not. You said something that was interesting is I'm not comfortable asking for accommodation. And I completely understand that I've been there. I've talked with so many people who are not comfortable asking for accommodation for a variety of reasons. I'm curious what, I know you had one you were comfortable at, you talked at, one you weren't. And I'd love to press into that a little bit. I'm wondering if you can share a little about that's not being comfortable.
Jodi Ekk:
It had more to do with how long I had been working at that practice and you know, they were very lovely, but it was a very high stress environment with not a lot of wiggle room. So the way we book patients, you know, sometimes there's a bit more flexibility between how your day goes and you know, if you need to go have a snack or you need to use a washroom or whatever. And some are just very fast paced. So this was a very fast paced, very intense.
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
freezing patients for their treatment and stuff like that. And you just can't, you can't leave. So in a way, I didn't even know what type of accommodation to ask for. What do you ask for? A two hour lunch break, a nap or?
you know, actually, if I think back, what I should have asked was for shorter shifts, which they would have done. And yeah, and so the practice where I was just, I had been there for 10 years and I was, I was more comfortable with the dentist, I think of her more as a friend. I did start to just say, I need a bit of time between every patient. You know, if I have to leave early, this is why. And things like that are not ideal, but it's what I, what I had to do at the time.
And if I think back most of the time, I just pushed through, which sounds impressive, but it's foolish. You know, why would I do that?
Tim Reitsma:
It is. And so I appreciate you, you going there because I, just based on people that I've talked with and, and I'm sure, and I'm now, you know, assuming that there are so many people out there that are afraid to ask for that accommodation. And, you know, you and I, we're not afraid to say, you know, this is what I live with and, and be vocal about it. I was at a client of mine, I'm doing some consulting and was at a recent client and they have like, you know, a shared key for the washroom. And I was going to the washroom and somebody's like, oh, what do you have your own key? And I said, yeah, all you need to do is get yourself some Crohn's and you get special accommodation. And you know, they kind of laughed awkwardly because they didn't know how to respond to that. But they said, oh, I should get me one of those and just kind of walked away. And I thought it was, yeah, I thought it was funny because you know, I'm just, hey, I got Crohn's, you know, similar to you, it's when you got to go, you got to go. You can't...
Jodi Ekk:
You're so lucky.
Tim Reitsma:
it's there's no like, oh, just wait an hour. You know, I'd look at my little kids and they're like, you know, haven't don't go forever. And it's like, oh, I'm fine, dad. But I can't relate to that. The point is, is there are accommodations out there and most employers, it's even by law to accommodate within a reasonable amount. I mean, if it's really affecting the job and your role, then.
Yes, and maybe something has to be looked at, but employers, at least here in BC, and according to the labor code, is there needs to be reasonable accommodation. And so, but if we're afraid to bring it up, we'll never ask for that accommodation. And so when somebody is afraid to bring it up, to bring up that they live with something, do you have any advice for people who are living in that place of like anxiety or fear for, um, for sharing that, Hey, I live with something invisible.
Jodi Ekk:
I definitely waited too long for my doctor to tell me what to do. And she actually never did that in the way that I was hoping for. I wanted to go to my employer and say, my doctor says this, this. And sometimes they do that. But sometimes often they'll just assume you're going to advocate for yourself. And our specialists here in BC, I'm assuming the rest of the country, they're so busy that they kind of jump from patient to patient. And if you're not directly asking them a question, they probably won't provide the information or it maybe doesn't cross their mind or maybe not everybody has those concerns like I do. But I waited too long. And what I should have done was just really think about not even the diagnosis, but what I was experiencing, what was working, what wasn't working, and some problem solving strategies between myself and my employer that I could suggest to them. And it is hard. It is a profession that's not ideal for something like this. It's hard to accommodate. But in a way, like that's...
it's my problem, but it's not only my problem. Like it's, I'm providing a service and I'm a good employee and I'm trying hard and I'm working hard and my employer needs to help me figure this out as well. So I wish I didn't wait so long to come for it and do that. And I wish I would have just been proactive about it instead of like waiting for my doctor to, I don't know, give me a note. They do that, but yeah.
Tim Reitsma:
Hmm.
Tim Reitsma:
They do.
Jodi Ekk:
up in seconds.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah, some doctors will definitely give you that note. And I love your advice of just don't wait. And it sounds so scary to talk about, but that is your normal. My Crohn's, living with Crohn's is my normal. I had surgery, I'm missing a good part of my intestines. So I'm gonna need to use a washer more. If I don't share that with my employer, my family, my friends, uh, I'm doing more of a disservice to myself and then it will manifest as a disservice to the organization. And so I, I like that of, of just, you know, I think it's, it's easy to say overcome the fear because you and I have overcome that, but I can say, man, life is a lot easier when you overcome that fear of, of sharing, uh, Because again, whether you're listening, wherever you're listening around the world, there's, there's human rights laws, discrimination laws, accommodation laws. And so, you know, how to approach it as how can we work together? Whether it's a shorter shift or like you said, maybe it's a profession that you just can't do any longer. So I know you transitioned into a different profession and I think this was a catalyst, wasn't it?
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah, definitely. So at the same time as I was in my flair.
Just before that, I had left full-time teaching at the university here to work in private practice so that I could have some time to pursue biblical counseling, which is a type of lay counseling that we do in churches. And I was planning to do that mostly on a volunteer kind of basis, but, you know, working in clinical practice afforded me a bit of extra time to be able to do that schedule where I could go be at home a little bit more and commute less. So I. Yeah, I wasn't on my radar to quit that at the time. And when I started getting sick and experience all of this and then I started treatment.
The treatment itself was almost made me sicker because it took so long and my dose was quite high for longer, I was on steroids, corticosteroids, and the dose ended up being, the whole thing took a lot longer than I thought, and I had some apparently unusual side effects, migraines and things like that, that were very impossible to do clinical work. So I actually had to go off of work for a couple months.
And I didn't go back. I tried a couple times, and it was like my body was just saying no. And I think in my heart, um...
I also knew that biblical counseling was like where God was leading me. Um, I believed. And so that became my employment. I was hired by the church kind of around the same time. And so it all things kind of fell into place. Although I wouldn't call it easy, but it was a path for me to take. At least I, at first I didn't know if it would be temporary or if this was actually my new career.
Because it is hard to walk away from. I mean for 20 years I had been in dentistry in various positions. That's a long time. And I had...
Yeah, I had a career and but I had to listen to my body. I had to listen to my heart and what I believe God was leading me to do. And so I pivoted. It was a big change, huge change to go. And, you know, part of it was my flexibility with work, obviously, as well. You know, working. I work with people, but their heads are not in my lap. And
If I need to take a quick break, I take a quick break, you know, things like that.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah, it's quite the shift from freezing people's gums or doing some cleaning or scraping or x-rays and all that good stuff that we just so much enjoy going to the dentist for to dig into people's lives. So you're pressing into people just in a different way. And you bring up, we're both people of faith and.
Jodi Ekk:
Yes.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah, definitely.
Tim Reitsma:
How has your faith helped through this journey? Or how has your faith developed through this whole journey of diagnosis, career change, living with something that's not visible. So when somebody sees you, they might be thinking something of like, what's wrong with her? Or why is she this or that? And so I'm curious, how has your faith grounded you through this?
Jodi Ekk:
I think I've grown spiritually in two main areas with this. One is worrying less about what people think and focusing more on what God thinks about me, which is actually very reassuring.
Um, and the other is really having to let go of this sense of control, which a lot of people struggle with. And I thought I had already worked through that. I thought I'd had enough challenges in my life already, but this was a completely new frontier with that just loss of control. I mean, I've mentioned loss of control of body function. That wasn't, you know, every single day, but knowing that was a potential really makes you go into situations differently and learning to trust God with that. Even if the worst happens, you know, I'm still loved. I'm still a value in God's eyes. I'm still, you know, I'm still here.
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
and just being grateful and practicing a lot of gratitude. But yeah, that sense of loss of control is it can be it can be an opportunity to learn to trust God more, or it can be an opportunity to really kind of fall apart.
Tim Reitsma:
I think it's, you know, whether somebody's a believer listening to this or somebody who isn't a believer, it's when you're diagnosed and you're going through symptoms, you maybe need to leave your work or, or something, something big is happening in your life. It's it surfaces, uh, potential idols, potential things that you've built your life around. Maybe it's you're motivated by money, but you're too sick to make money.
Maybe you're just driven by rising to the top of an organization, but your doctor says that stress will kill you. Don't do that. Um, it just, it surfaces things in us in my, I mean, I've experienced that. I think you and I share quite a bit about that is I worry, I worry often about finances and to the point where, you know, my wife and I have gotten a lot of disagreements about, about things and but we're but we're in such a better place now. You know, I had surgery, we're recording this in the summer of 2023. In the spring, I had major surgery and, and to the point, and I had advice from my doctors, I was a general manager of an organization. And they said, you got to leave it. Cause that stress will kill you. And it wasn't until after surgery, I talked to one of my doctors and they said, I don't think you realize how sick you were. Like you had no iron, you had no hemoglobin in your body.
Your body was under immense stress. And if you continued on with work stress, you may not be here. And hearing that, um, Scared me to the point where I had an opportunity and to take on something that was high stress. And I had to say, look for my health. I just can't do that, but this is what I can do for you and to this, to this organization and you know, and, uh, and it's good things are going to happen there.
So that there is like, if you keep putting yourself in that stressful situation, feeling like you've got to be in that control, um, man, life is, life is going to be rough. It's going to be hard because you can't control it. I mean, I was going to make a silly joke around that loss of control. Yeah. You and I can joke around about that, but you know, when you've, when you actually lose control, cause we have no control over our health. We can eat a healthy diet. I know you're a really healthy person. Um, you're
You used to run a lot and, and then you're hit with this. We've no control over it. And so I think for us again, we share our faith and, um, it puts things into perspective of who's actually in control.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah, definitely. I talk in counseling a lot. I talk about something we call circles of responsibility or responsibility circles. And basically, you know, God gives us agency. You and I make decisions in each day. So we feel the sense of control. And we think we have control over the outcomes, but that's where we're wrong. Like you said, you know, I eat a healthy diet. I exercise. I feel like I do a lot of the right things to maintain health. And still, you know, you have genetic components and then you have things that happen to you. And yeah, if we focus so much on the outcomes, I think we really miss the opportunities we have in each day to do what we can do with what we have, with what God has given us. And so my thinking has definitely shifted from like, this is my outcome. I mean, even now I started exercising again 12 weeks ago and my first week back at the gym, this fellow beside me from the community. He is asking me, he's another swim dad, my daughter's in competitive swim. And he's just kind of getting to know each other a little bit. And I said, well yeah, I was sick for a while.
quite sick and now I'm just getting back into exercising and he looked at me and goes, you don't look sick. And I thought of you Tim. And I thought, isn't that just how it is? I mean, I don't need him to know that I'm sick, but it's just this, it's amazing how ill you actually can be. And on the outside, I mean, maybe you look like you've had the stomach flu for a year, but nobody really knows what you've been going through except for God.
Tim Reitsma:
Hmm
Jodi Ekk:
and sometimes each other to a certain extent.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah, you don't look sick. Yeah, you look tired. You should maybe get some more sleep. Or Jodi Ekk:, you look thin. Maybe you should exercise a little more. Yeah, you need to gain some weight. It's like, oh yeah, I've, yeah, I know. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, if I didn't have like a literal loss of control, I would probably gain more weight. And I've been thinking a lot about exactly what you've said about this.
Jodi Ekk:
You don't look sick.
Jodi Ekk:
Yeah, you need to gain some weight.
I know!
Jodi Ekk:
Mm-hmm. Probably would.
Tim Reitsma:
You know, you show up to the gym, you meet people and then you share. It's like, Oh, I've been pretty sick over the last couple of years, and, but I'm feeling a lot better. It's like, Oh, well, you know, you don't look sick or something. That's an immediate reaction. And when you hear that, I mean, I think you and I now can handle that conversation with grace. Uh, my wife and I were just having this conversation the day we recorded this podcast, um, cause somebody made a comment to my wife who's battling iritis and they made a comment. And she's really close with this person. So she had to educate this person on what iritis is. And I think it's an opportunity to be gracious. I believe 99% of people out there do not have ill intent when they make a comment like that. And it's how we react to that and how we can then educate others. Because one of the goals of this project, Invisible Condition, is I wanna kill the stigma. I wanna end the stigma that surrounds invisible conditions the stigma around sharing about what we live with. And one way to do that is to help educate. And and so, you know, that's what that's what we're here. So I'm curious when how did you respond to that person or what? How did that conversation kind of go from there? Were they curious? We did manifest for something more than just I was sick and you don't look sick. And then you just lifted your hundred pound weights.
Jodi Ekk:
I mean, my five pound dumbbells. No, I was on the stationary bike and I think I only lasted 10 minutes on there.
Yeah, I think being gracious is really important. If we go through life thinking that everybody should know exactly what we're going through, we will be frustrated a lot of the time and maybe a little bit bitter. But I think if we think, I probably am unaware of what many people are going through, but if I have an attitude of openness and willingness to listen to them and understand them, it makes such a difference.
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
I think he wasn't really interested. You know, I said I had a bowel disease and he kind of looked kind of, you know, not comfortable and I didn't know him that well. And I probably said something like, yeah, you can't always tell from the outside what people have been going through. And it's interesting that you should mention stigma. I just finished a big project on that for a course that I was taking about reducing stigma in mental illness. And the two main ways to do that and listening to personal stories. And so I think this is really important, what you're doing here.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah, I think I'm just scrolling down a note because I think that's where my, that's the first thing I went to think about was, we just gotta share. And I got on this whole tangent a few weeks ago and I worked with a designer on visible condition and her and I got on this whole tangent about normal. What is normal? And so I Googled definition of normal person. And this is what the definition is. A normal person has no serious physical or mental health problems. And that's from a Collins dictionary. I don't know if it's reputable or not, but that's the first hit that comes up. And my designer and I looked at each other through Zoom and went, well, I guess we're both not normal. And I thought, I remember reading a statistic that, don't quote me on this, maybe I'll put it in the show notes if I can find it, but 80% of the population, I think it was the US, live with some sort of illness or disease, whether it's visible or invisible. Like so.
If nobody has, if the definition is no serious illness, then there's no normal. And so, but then I started thinking about, well, I'm normal and you're normal. But my normal's defined as I make sure there's washrooms on my route. I watch how much coffee I take. I take my morning meds so I can relieve, have relief throughout the day. I'm drinking coffee now, terrible. I might have to pause this, but I think we're good now.
Jodi Ekk:
Hehehehe
Tim Reitsma:
That's just my normal. My kids know that is normal. They even said we want a road trip and there was like, Dad, do you need to use the washroom? And that's just the normal. And so what let's what's a little glimpse into your normal.
Jodi Ekk:
Well, the celiac issue dominates a lot of my life more than colitis, to be honest. So, always trying to find gluten-free food. Educating people on that a lot when I get more...
Tim Reitsma:
Mm-hmm.
Jodi Ekk:
Probably because I have to bring it up more, I get more interesting comments about that than I do about colitis. But, you know, securing my food supply, so either bringing food with me or making sure where I'm going has something that I can safely eat. Yeah, definitely using the washroom before I leave the house.
Now that I'm in remission, things have kind of settled into more of a predictable routine, I would say. But yeah, just we're probably more aware of like our bodily functions than most people are. I always make sure I have some medication with me in case I need something urgently.
I've had a couple like small flares in the last six months or so, and I think I know how to manage those now. But yeah, I definitely always need to have like Imodium or Pepto-Bismol or activated charcoal works really, really well, especially if it's a celiac gluten exposure thing. Always have water with me. Yeah, probably just.
There's less kind of casual outings maybe and things like traveling. We're going to Europe for three weeks coming up soon and I am definitely, I'm not concerned about it, but I know it will just be a bit more exhausting for me than it might be for other people in that particular way, just in managing my food and the washroom situation. Yeah. I am always mentally prepared to barge to the front of a public washroom lineup.
I know you and I are saying like, if we could have a card, that's like, and those exist, right? Like I think in the States, that's a thing.
Tim Reitsma:
They, there's some municipalities that actually have cards. Uh, I know here in Canada, there's, uh, the Cron's eclipsed foundation have done a good job of just, um, getting organizations to, and even businesses like brick and mortar businesses to put a sign, um, that say that they are Cron's eclipsed friendly. So meaning, you know, if they've got a little sticker in the window, you can go in and say, I need to use your washroom and now they're on board to, to support you in that, but yeah, you need the, you need the, yeah, go ahead.
Jodi Ekk:
which is great. If you didn't know somebody with a bowel issue that would never cross your mind. But I do, I haven't tested this, but I'm 99% sure if you just ran up to a line up at a washroom and said, I have to urgently poop, they would let you through. I don't think anyone, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Awkward enough that they want to get rid of you. So.
Tim Reitsma:
You just got to use that four letter word and it instantly makes things awkward. And, and, and there was like, I don't know if I want to go in, you know, it's like that whole thing, right? You come out, the lines gone and that's okay.
Jodi Ekk:
Yep.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah. Well, I know we've talked, I mean, we've talked about your journey. We've had a lot of fun and talked about your faith and how that's played a huge role, um, the foundational role in just your life and navigating this. And you'd just to go back a little bit, um, you're took a course on reducing the stigma around mental illness, mental health. And I think that plays into a lot of, or if not all invisible conditions, which is educate and personal stories. So.
How do we go about that? How do we go about, well, educating people, one. And second is getting comfortable enough to share your personal story. Loaded questions, I know.
Jodi Ekk:
I do think that you get a sense of when people are open to hearing about your suffering or not and not everybody needs to hear the same degree of information. You know, the people closest to you, they do need to understand really what you're living with and you need their support and so hiding from them is not helpful for anybody. But yeah. I think just not being embarrassed, shame around it. Shame's a big emotion that has so many implications. I spend a lot of my days talking through the topic of shame, but we can get into these weird narratives in our minds with chronic illness like, what did I do to make this happen? Um... and feeling almost guilty about it. Like, you know, am I not good at managing my stress? Did I? And maybe some of those things have a little bit of truth to them. But I think like.
Educating people is important, but doing it in a loving way, letting them know your lived experience and not just necessarily what they're going to see online is helpful. And yeah, like I said, also being a person who's not like, here, you need to know this about me, but inviting other people's experiences as well is so important in showing love, really.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah. It's that idea of just getting, I call it authentically curious, like really care. And if somebody starts sharing or you see something off or somebody's, you know, maybe not, doesn't appear to be quote unquote normal, just get curious about it. Um, don't be, you know, we make up that narrative in our mind. It's like, oh, they're whatever. Um, like a curious, ask questions. Uh, you'd be amazed how.
Often people will share when you share or you ask, um, how are they doing? Like really, how are somebody doing? Um, just a quick example is just, I put out some posts earlier this year on LinkedIn about my journey with Crohn's and the amount of people that have reached out to me, like I probably have enough people to be on the podcast for at least a year, um, if I release every week, like it is, it is incredible. The amount of people who.
Uh, want to share, but just don't know how or are afraid to share, but are want to share anonymously. There's just it's people want to share, but you need to invite that as well. So I love that it's, um, educate yourself. You know, there's so many resources. Just go to Google. Uh, if you don't know how google.com and just type in, um, educate myself on X wires at colitis, Crohn's arthritis, whatever it is, um, and educate yourself. And
Jodi Ekk:
Hehehehe
Tim Reitsma:
And I love that. And so I love to, you know, as we look to wrap up, this is a question I love to ask everyone. I don't think I prompted you with this. So it's just, I'd like to know, what hope and encouragement would you like to leave our listeners with?
Jodi Ekk:
and encouragement is kind of my main job to be honest in the in the work that I do now.
Tim Reitsma:
Yeah.
Jodi Ekk:
I think we get very focused on what's happening in this moment. And it sounds very trite to say it will get better because to be honest, sometimes it won't in this lifetime. Um, we believe that there's eternal hope, eternal restoration. This body is not forever. If it was.
I would feel pretty ripped off sometimes. I mean, you can always look at other people and say, well, I have it better than them, but that's not really helpful. And so I think for me, I mean, I would be amiss to not say my hope is in Jesus Christ and the gospel that I see in scripture and how I see that lived out around me in community.
So yeah, I would say there's hope beyond what we see right here in front of us. And we need to lift our eyes up and, and look to that hope. Um, otherwise, yeah, it just gets very, uh, overwhelming, I would say.
Tim Reitsma:
I couldn't have said it any better, Jodi Ekk:e. And I know I put you on the spot and I just love your wisdom in that. And I know it's part of your job, but there's, you know, we share this. There's lots of us that share this faith. And you know, those who are listening, if you're feeling hopeless, if you're feeling that, okay, I'm living with something that's invisible, people don't understand, reach out, reach out to myself. I'll put, if Jodi Ekk:e has contact information, I'll put that in the show notes.
We're here to support you and if we can't then we will do what we can to point you in the right direction that's the point of this project is to visible condition is to kill that stigma and And bring hope to the world that you know what this world is full of unusually normal things which is our Crazy conditions that we live with and so with that again if you are listening We'd love to connect with you
Jodi Ekk:
Mm-hmm.
Tim Reitsma:
I'd love to get your feedback on this episode. If you have a story you want to share, whether you want to write an article or you want to be on the podcast, let me know, check out invisible condition.com and you'll find all the contact information there. So Jodi Ekk:e, thank you so much for sharing your life with me for the last 45 minutes and not just me, but, but the audience as well.
Jodi Ekk:
Thank you, Tim. It's been a pleasure.
Tim Reitsma:
Okay, and with that, I hope everyone has a fantastic day.
